NO CRYING AT MY FUNERAL

NO CRYING AT MY FUNERAL

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I want to go to heaven, but...

Everybody wants to go to heaven. Nobody wants to go to hell. We Catholics sometimes hedge our bet and "settle" for Purgatory. We all accept the fact that we have to die before we get there. We talk about this fairly often.

I was talking about it this morning after the daily Holy Sacrifice of the Mass with a dear friend of mine. During the conversation she said something to me that struck me like a thunderbolt.

I don't remember exactly how it came about in the conversation, but at one point I mentioned to her that except for two people in my large family and extended family, father's side and mother's side, everyone died without notice. My bottom line was that I pray every day that "The Man Upstairs" grant me the grace to die without notice.

Her reaction was quick and precise.

Allow me to paraphrase her, all the while staying true to her conviction.

She pointed out that since she was a little girl she has been praying that God not take her until He comes in Glory so that she would be there to run up to Him and hug Him. She amended her thought a little bit and said that if she didn't get to hug him she would at least want to touch the hem of his garment to greet Him because, she said, "there will be a lot of people there."

This wonderful thought process was enlightening to me. Imagine, praying for the privilege to greet Jesus when He comes again.

All my life I've been praying for a "happy, sudden death". I've never been one to fear death, such as it is. But I do honestly admit that there are some ways that I don't want to die. I don't want to drown, I don't want to burn, I don't want to have emphysema or cancer or other such drag-along illness.

It never came to me until this morning that I could be praying to be there when Jesus comes back. Why did I have to wait so long?

I hope that those of you who are reading this will be blessed with a similar enlightenment to mine. If these thoughts can be of use to your soul, then I am sure that you will not cry at my funeral.


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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can only pray I die in God's good grace when the time comes. It is hard - impossible - to remain in a holy state 24/7 and I try to be really good. I hope God will cut me some slack if he comes at a time when I had slipped into some form of sin. Do you think he willl look at the overall picture of my life and look at the totality of all the good things I have done? Or will I be judged at the state of my soul Isinful or not sinful) at the time of his coming?

Anonymous said...

I like your blogs. You bring up very interesting ideas.

Anonymous said...

Robert:

Thank you for your wonderful insights into your relationship with God.

Your statement about its being impossible to remain in a holy state 24/7 is, in my opinion, slightly harsh. So many of us are too strict on ourselves. We think that every little thing that we do takes us away from the love of God. So often we forget about the the words of St. Paul who reminds us that Jesus loved us so much that He died for us despite the fact that we are sinners.

We have to stop beating ourselves up. Look at it this way.

A child leaves his house every morning to go to school. Many mornings leaving an unmade bed behind, a dirty sink, a wet towel on the floor, not a nice word of thanks to Mom for breakfast, etc. THat same child comes home every evening to a mother who loves him just as much as she did in the morning.

We, as the children of God are too hard on Him. We live in mortal fear that He is keeping score so closely that we don't have a chance that He will ever accept us into His Loving Presence. Lighten up, people. He is our Father.

When we were in school we all heard the story about the altar boy who was such a good kid. He was a living saint. Then one day he got into a situation where he got attracted to a pornographic magazine, committed the ugly mortal sin of masturbation. A short while later, perturbed by his actions, he lost his concentration while riding his bicycle in traffic, got hit and died on the spot. Too bad, the story goes, but he blew his chance to go to heaven.

Our spiritual life is not like that. Our discipleship with Jesus calls us into danger every day. Sometimes we are weak and lazy about it, but sometimes we are tough and courageous.

Just before going to Jerusalem for the last time, Jesus told His apostle what His plan was. They said, "Why are you going there again? Don't you know that they are looking to kill you?" One of them, Thomas, said, "If He says that He is going there, then we are going too."

So there was one strong one among 12. That doesn't mean that the others were left out of Jesus love. Our relationship with God is like that. Our relationship with God is so intimate, so personal, so spiritual that slipping into "some form of sin" on a one-time basis during our dedicated discipleship is not an eternal "deal breaker."

Read chapter 25 of Saint Matthew. At the judgement God doesn't say, "Oh yeah, yesterday you committed adultery, so get over there with the goats." Did you ever notice that in the Gospels and the Scriptures in general, salvation is liked to following the commands of God to go out and prophesy, to spread the message, to care for the sick, clothe the naked?

I therefore leave you with the thought that playing defense on God's team (staying in the state of Grace) won't get you very far, maybe except at the end of the bench.

Live a dynamic life of missionary discipleship, then you will have a life where neither you nor God will have to keep score. You'll both always be ahead.