VOTE FOR ME, I HAVE JOBS - IN CHINA

Vote for me because:
...I'll box you in with the best wall you've ever seen;
...I'll protect you from all the Mexican thieves, rapists and drug trafickers who assail us;
...I'll round up all the illegal aliens and send then back to where they came from;
...I'll bomb the shit out of Isis and wipe them off the face of the earth;
...I'll create more jobs than anyone else can imagine.  I am the job creating man;
...I'll tax companies who bring in goods that they manufacture off shore so highly that they will quickly return to the US;
...I'll protect you from Muslims by banning them from entering the country;
...I'm no longer self funding my campaign, so now I am like every other politician, I can be bought;
...I'm very rich;
...I'll make the world respect us;
...I'm bigger and better at the military than anybody else;
...I'll do better with women than Hillary;
...I'll make trade deals that will benefit us much more than what we have now;
...I'll cut taxes without increasing the deficit;
...I'm going to promote eminent domain to the hilt;
...I'm convinced that we have to have to have a president like me who was born in the United States;
...I'm the best at cutting deals;
...I'll absolutely apologize sometime in the future if I'm ever wrong;
...I have a great relationship with the blacks. I’ve always had a great relationship with the blacks;
...I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist;
...I love Hispanics;
...I don't know anything about David Duke, OK? I don't know anything about what you're even talking about with white supremacy;
...I love the old days, you know? You know what I hate? There's a guy totally disruptive, throwing punches, we're not allowed punch back anymore. ... I'd like to punch him in the face, I'll tell ya"

I end my presentation of Donald Trump, republican nominee for president of the United States with this wonderfully high-minded reason why he thinks we should vote for him:  

"If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America."

This from a person who is presently in his third attempt at getting marriage right.  maybe it is the "small hands" syndrome?

Don't cry at my funeral, friends.