Everybody wants to go to heaven. Nobody wants to go to hell. We Catholics sometimes hedge our bet and "settle" for Purgatory. We all accept the fact that we have to die before we get there. We talk about this fairly often.
I was talking about it this morning after the daily Holy Sacrifice of the Mass with a dear friend of mine. During the conversation she said something to me that struck me like a thunderbolt.
I don't remember exactly how it came about in the conversation, but at one point I mentioned to her that except for two people in my large family and extended family, father's side and mother's side, everyone died without notice. My bottom line was that I pray every day that "The Man Upstairs" grant me the grace to die without notice.
Her reaction was quick and precise.
Allow me to paraphrase her, all the while staying true to her conviction.
She pointed out that since she was a little girl she has been praying that God not take her until He comes in Glory so that she would be there to run up to Him and hug Him. She amended her thought a little bit and said that if she didn't get to hug him she would at least want to touch the hem of his garment to greet Him because, she said, "there will be a lot of people there."
This wonderful thought process was enlightening to me. Imagine, praying for the privilege to greet Jesus when He comes again.
All my life I've been praying for a "happy, sudden death". I've never been one to fear death, such as it is. But I do honestly admit that there are some ways that I don't want to die. I don't want to drown, I don't want to burn, I don't want to have emphysema or cancer or other such drag-along illness.
It never came to me until this morning that I could be praying to be there when Jesus comes back. Why did I have to wait so long?
I hope that those of you who are reading this will be blessed with a similar enlightenment to mine. If these thoughts can be of use to your soul, then I am sure that you will not cry at my funeral.
(If you enjoyed this, click here to view all the other wonderful articles that await you at www.PARISHWORLD.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine.)
NO CRYING AT MY FUNERAL
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Thursday, July 6, 2006
The poor you will always have with you
Lately I have been assaulted by some very interesting questions springing from conversations that I have had with people who come from third world countries. One of the reasons that this
is an important question to me is that we have a situation concerning Jesus that seems to say that conspicuous excessive consumption is sometimes OK, even if some would say that better use could have been found for the money.
Notice the the negative comment about "...this could have been given to the poor..." is credited to the one apostle who is described as "Zealot". He was an anti-Roman activist. Activists usually do not have too much discretionary income because they are busy keeping themselves in the face of those they hope to bring down. Notice that the "middle class" fishermen and others who were members of the active economy did not find this an extravagant opulence.
"Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper,
7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.
8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?
9 For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.
10 When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath a wrought a good work upon me.
11 For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.
12 For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it a for my burial.
13 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her." Matthew 26; 6-13)
Nevertheless, I continue to have some weighty questions about how "poor" people expect to acquire money, goods or services and how they go about spending the liquid cash that they get their hands on and using the goods that they either buy or receive.
The answers to these questions are important because I, like the rest of you donate a certain percentage of my personal, "discretionary" assets in favor of the "poor".
I know for a fact that in a certain third world country, McDonalds is a very popular place, even in the far-flung, very low income provinces (About $500.oo annual family income).
A visitor from the United States who witnessed this asked me, "If these people constantly complain that they have no money, why do they flock to the McDonalds where a hamburger costs one-half a day's wages?"
My answer was simple, "It's your hard earned money that they are spending, not theirs. They have a lot of money, yours."
I am very familiar with some people who consider themselves "poor" because every "discretionary" penny that they have they send to their children who remained behind in the homeland. I have to shake my head in disbelief when I see them cutting the dishwashing soap to half water to make it last longer and then giving the left-over food from a meal to the feral cats who hang around knowing full well what is coming to them every evening.
When I inquire about this practice the answer is straightforward, "we never reheat anything that is not eaten at the meal for which is it intended."
I fire back the question, "Then why don't you get rid of your refrigerator?" Silence. Followed by more "poverty".
Over a year ago my wife and I decided to get along with one automobile for the both of us. When we really need a second car for a few days, we rent one. I travel somewhat, so when I have to travel, I drive the hybrid and the rental serves as the commuter for a few days.
About four weeks ago a person declined to register a child for a year in the Faith Formation Program because she did not want to spend the extra $25.00. I noticed that the SUV that she drove off in might get her across the street for $25.00 worth of gasoline. "Poverty" rolls on.
Back in December, just after September 11, 2001 I was coming back to the United States from Mexico. Since the line was very long and slow, I bought a newspaper to pass the time as I crept toward the "line." The lead article on the front page was about the economic impact that the new situation would have in Mexico. It was estimated that more than 1 billion dollars would not flow into Mexico during the month of December because of the difficulty of travel between the United States and Mexico. When I looked it up further upon reaching home, it was confirmed.
It was also confirmed that the Philippines would also lose an enormous amount of money for the same reasons. Name a second or third world country and you will know that the gross national "product" of that country is the influx of US dollars from its expatriates.
So, since so much money is going to the "common people", the governing politicians keep the people's money for themselves rather than usuing it to create opportunity, and poverty rolls on.
I sat in on a conversation the other day that was rather disheartening. An 85 year old lady with a large family in a third world country was tearfully relating the behavior of her children back home. She sends back just about every dollar that she has after food and rent.
Her children there have decided that it is easier to live off the exchange of their mother's contribution than to work the 30 acres that are theirs. They have taken second deeds out on some of the land, which they do not till and use the money for frivolous things. They have sold some of the land out from under one or the other of their siblings and have forged the signatures of other members o the family to get frivolous things that they crave.
In the meantime they forget to pay the tuition of their children who are in college without telling them. The children come home in disgrace. When they achieve majority they find a way to get employment in another country through an agent who charges exhorbitant fees for the "favor." And the poverty rolls on.
Here in the good ol' USA, we have a poverty of a different sort. No one sends us money, except our own government. So, we take the money from the government, squander it, and ask for more. A goodly number of us maintain ourselves in poverty by enslaving ourselves to the credit masters. One of the greatest sins is that of usury, but we here in this country keep flying around the flame, oblivious to the harm that it causes us. Poverty marches on.
Some of us get entrepreneurial and traffic in drugs and get real rich, real fast. A goodly number who do that don't ever get to be poor again. They also don't get to be very old.
For two years I worked as General Manager of Human Reources for a 100 million dollar per year company in Santa Fe Springs, California. We participated in the local program to put welfare people to work. We would pay them the minimum wage and the local government would match what we paid for six months. At the end of that time, the employee would then be trained to work for us and make a living wage.
After two years and over 120 welfare hires later, two of the hires had succeeded to finish the program and were still employed. I can't begin to tell you the number of lies I heard during those two years. We put nary a ding in the poverty of Los Angeles County with our outreach.
There are those of you who will not like it when I say that it is not only the rich who cause the perpetuation of poverty. The poor are as responsible for their situation as the rich are. (See, "credit") I am also convinced that all of the elemosinary efforts of all the philanthropists and all the governments in the world will not solve the problem of poverty.
So what do I do to contribute to the solution of the poverty problem? Nothing. I participate in the poverty. I am not an acquirer of toys; I am not an acquirer of clothing, furniture, autos, etc. I deny myself many comforts; I am totally anti-bling. I suffer the pains of advancing age with few if any complaints and little drug ingestion; I share all that I have and even some of what I could have with my family; I write, I teach, I try to facilitate life for others by training them and preparing them to do things that will make them happy. I have one wife. I thank God for that.
I am a cranky, acrimonious curmudgeon with a warped sense of humor that some people enjoy and others despise, but as long as I am spreading it around, I don't care who the "enjoyers" and the "despisers" are. I don't keep secrets. I think it is immoral to make people think that I have a secret that could make them better, or happier. I think that it is immoral to keep something to myself out of fear that someone might get better at it than I and "beat me" out of something that I could keep for myself. Nope, not me.
If taking me makes you happy, take me. If you don't like me, go somewhere else. That, in my mind is the true definition of poverty, being happy with what you have and who you are, period. If that satisfaction wears off on those who come in contact with it, it means that Jesus is using me for something good.
There, I've got it off my chest. If I die now you'll know that I died happy, so don't you dare shed a tear. You can even say bad things about my opinions concerning poverty and I won't care.
You can even say them now, right to my face, if you promise not to cry at my funeral.
is an important question to me is that we have a situation concerning Jesus that seems to say that conspicuous excessive consumption is sometimes OK, even if some would say that better use could have been found for the money.
Notice the the negative comment about "...this could have been given to the poor..." is credited to the one apostle who is described as "Zealot". He was an anti-Roman activist. Activists usually do not have too much discretionary income because they are busy keeping themselves in the face of those they hope to bring down. Notice that the "middle class" fishermen and others who were members of the active economy did not find this an extravagant opulence.
"Now when Jesus was in Bethany, in the house of Simon the leper,
7 There came unto him a woman having an alabaster box of very precious ointment, and poured it on his head, as he sat at meat.
8 But when his disciples saw it, they had indignation, saying, To what purpose is this waste?
9 For this ointment might have been sold for much, and given to the poor.
10 When Jesus understood it, he said unto them, Why trouble ye the woman? for she hath a wrought a good work upon me.
11 For ye have the poor always with you; but me ye have not always.
12 For in that she hath poured this ointment on my body, she did it a for my burial.
13 Verily I say unto you, Wheresoever this gospel shall be preached in the whole world, there shall also this, that this woman hath done, be told for a memorial of her." Matthew 26; 6-13)
Nevertheless, I continue to have some weighty questions about how "poor" people expect to acquire money, goods or services and how they go about spending the liquid cash that they get their hands on and using the goods that they either buy or receive.
The answers to these questions are important because I, like the rest of you donate a certain percentage of my personal, "discretionary" assets in favor of the "poor".
I know for a fact that in a certain third world country, McDonalds is a very popular place, even in the far-flung, very low income provinces (About $500.oo annual family income).
A visitor from the United States who witnessed this asked me, "If these people constantly complain that they have no money, why do they flock to the McDonalds where a hamburger costs one-half a day's wages?"
My answer was simple, "It's your hard earned money that they are spending, not theirs. They have a lot of money, yours."
I am very familiar with some people who consider themselves "poor" because every "discretionary" penny that they have they send to their children who remained behind in the homeland. I have to shake my head in disbelief when I see them cutting the dishwashing soap to half water to make it last longer and then giving the left-over food from a meal to the feral cats who hang around knowing full well what is coming to them every evening.
When I inquire about this practice the answer is straightforward, "we never reheat anything that is not eaten at the meal for which is it intended."
I fire back the question, "Then why don't you get rid of your refrigerator?" Silence. Followed by more "poverty".
Over a year ago my wife and I decided to get along with one automobile for the both of us. When we really need a second car for a few days, we rent one. I travel somewhat, so when I have to travel, I drive the hybrid and the rental serves as the commuter for a few days.
About four weeks ago a person declined to register a child for a year in the Faith Formation Program because she did not want to spend the extra $25.00. I noticed that the SUV that she drove off in might get her across the street for $25.00 worth of gasoline. "Poverty" rolls on.
Back in December, just after September 11, 2001 I was coming back to the United States from Mexico. Since the line was very long and slow, I bought a newspaper to pass the time as I crept toward the "line." The lead article on the front page was about the economic impact that the new situation would have in Mexico. It was estimated that more than 1 billion dollars would not flow into Mexico during the month of December because of the difficulty of travel between the United States and Mexico. When I looked it up further upon reaching home, it was confirmed.
It was also confirmed that the Philippines would also lose an enormous amount of money for the same reasons. Name a second or third world country and you will know that the gross national "product" of that country is the influx of US dollars from its expatriates.
So, since so much money is going to the "common people", the governing politicians keep the people's money for themselves rather than usuing it to create opportunity, and poverty rolls on.
I sat in on a conversation the other day that was rather disheartening. An 85 year old lady with a large family in a third world country was tearfully relating the behavior of her children back home. She sends back just about every dollar that she has after food and rent.
Her children there have decided that it is easier to live off the exchange of their mother's contribution than to work the 30 acres that are theirs. They have taken second deeds out on some of the land, which they do not till and use the money for frivolous things. They have sold some of the land out from under one or the other of their siblings and have forged the signatures of other members o the family to get frivolous things that they crave.
In the meantime they forget to pay the tuition of their children who are in college without telling them. The children come home in disgrace. When they achieve majority they find a way to get employment in another country through an agent who charges exhorbitant fees for the "favor." And the poverty rolls on.
Here in the good ol' USA, we have a poverty of a different sort. No one sends us money, except our own government. So, we take the money from the government, squander it, and ask for more. A goodly number of us maintain ourselves in poverty by enslaving ourselves to the credit masters. One of the greatest sins is that of usury, but we here in this country keep flying around the flame, oblivious to the harm that it causes us. Poverty marches on.
Some of us get entrepreneurial and traffic in drugs and get real rich, real fast. A goodly number who do that don't ever get to be poor again. They also don't get to be very old.
For two years I worked as General Manager of Human Reources for a 100 million dollar per year company in Santa Fe Springs, California. We participated in the local program to put welfare people to work. We would pay them the minimum wage and the local government would match what we paid for six months. At the end of that time, the employee would then be trained to work for us and make a living wage.
After two years and over 120 welfare hires later, two of the hires had succeeded to finish the program and were still employed. I can't begin to tell you the number of lies I heard during those two years. We put nary a ding in the poverty of Los Angeles County with our outreach.
There are those of you who will not like it when I say that it is not only the rich who cause the perpetuation of poverty. The poor are as responsible for their situation as the rich are. (See, "credit") I am also convinced that all of the elemosinary efforts of all the philanthropists and all the governments in the world will not solve the problem of poverty.
So what do I do to contribute to the solution of the poverty problem? Nothing. I participate in the poverty. I am not an acquirer of toys; I am not an acquirer of clothing, furniture, autos, etc. I deny myself many comforts; I am totally anti-bling. I suffer the pains of advancing age with few if any complaints and little drug ingestion; I share all that I have and even some of what I could have with my family; I write, I teach, I try to facilitate life for others by training them and preparing them to do things that will make them happy. I have one wife. I thank God for that.
I am a cranky, acrimonious curmudgeon with a warped sense of humor that some people enjoy and others despise, but as long as I am spreading it around, I don't care who the "enjoyers" and the "despisers" are. I don't keep secrets. I think it is immoral to make people think that I have a secret that could make them better, or happier. I think that it is immoral to keep something to myself out of fear that someone might get better at it than I and "beat me" out of something that I could keep for myself. Nope, not me.
If taking me makes you happy, take me. If you don't like me, go somewhere else. That, in my mind is the true definition of poverty, being happy with what you have and who you are, period. If that satisfaction wears off on those who come in contact with it, it means that Jesus is using me for something good.
There, I've got it off my chest. If I die now you'll know that I died happy, so don't you dare shed a tear. You can even say bad things about my opinions concerning poverty and I won't care.
You can even say them now, right to my face, if you promise not to cry at my funeral.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Open Letter to parents, children and various sundry relatives
Church Weddings: Spiritual experience or just the same ol' "Bling?"
By Paul Dion, STL
I am taking the liberty to write this because I now feel that after I had a close-up experience of the topic, I have to be considered a superbly qualified expert in the field.
Some 18 months ago a young man, whom I know well, asked the parents of his girlfriend if they would consent to his marrying her. They agreed. He then proposed marriage to the lady and she accepted his proposal.
These two rather commonplace events caused a tsunami of universal economic proportions. I must confess that I did not in my wildest dreams ever imagine the lava flow of red hot details that were unleashed on that fateful Valentine's Day of 2005. (Please note that I am leaving out the surreptitious, "what if" gawking excursions in front of the jewlery stores to "check out her taste in diamond rings.)
Bright and early on February 15th the search for the dress began, followed by, guest lists, registries, restaurants, halls, limousine services, dress colors, number of witnesses, age of ring bearer, number of candles, church, time schedules, trimming back the guest list, honeymoon packages, wedding ring shopping, flower color, species and size, clothing for the men, best rental rates, food menus, invitation styles and printers, winery tours, countless hours of merciless advice talks from relatives who hadn't given them the time of day for years, the incessant reminders from certain parents not to forget cousin so-and-so who was the Godfather of your mother's second cousin three times removed, the seating arrangement at the reception, how much alcohol to serve and for how deep into the evening, the constant flow of recommendations of providers of photography services, not to speak of video services, what music to have, live band, electronic music, where to have the rehearsal night dinner and whom to hire as the event coordinator for the day, just to name a few of the gory details.
Some of you are now questioning my right to think of myself as an expert in these matters because I have left out, chosen to omit or just damn clean forgot a lot of the "essential" details. The above only qualify for the title, "secular" details.
The religious details go something like this: Her church or his church. (N.B. The two I know share the same religion) He's real active and has clerical friends. She sleeps-in most Sundays or goes to work, so maybe it might be better to use his church.
Well, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion so quickly, after all her great uncle from Spain bought the statue of the Virgin that's near the sanctuary, and her mother's Godmother is a member of the women's rosary club. You have to check it out. Then you audition singers, you spend hours selecting the Bible readings, the hymns you like, the pitch of the center aisle, who is going to clean up after the ceremony, is rice throwing allowed (The church they used has an Asian pastor, so you know the answer to that one), who is going to read the Scripture, how many candles are going to be lit, do the Godparents get to march in and out and who is going to impart the nuptial blessing.
This is only the first few paragraphs and I'm tired already, and so are they and they are still seven months away from the date.
There is a lot more that I could tell you about the myriad of material details that engulf the couple preparing for marriage. It's worse than Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day all rolled into one.
Even the religious preparations are mandated and "essential" to being eligible for a church wedding, and they too are, like everything else, expensive. I am convinced that the personality changes that I observed in the groom to be during this time were directly related to the social pressure under which he and his fiancée were operating. And this was supposed to be a religious experience. In my opinion, it wasn't, not by a long shot. Oh, the church officials and dignitaries were there, reciting their nostrums and waving their hands, but no one in attendance really paid any attention.
I attended the church ceremony and was rather jarred by the reading from the Scriptures of the Jehovah Witnesses version of the story of Genesis 2. The person sitting at my left is a very knowledgeable person in Theology and she didn't notice a thing!
How could such a thing happen in our church? Easy, no one really cares. As long as the eye candy is there, IT is more important than the spiritual experience, both for the participants in the pews and the couple taking the vow.
The paparazzi were floating around during the ceremony and of course after the ceremony the picture taking went on for an hour. This, I am sure, was a continuation of what had more than likely started at the bride's house as she went through the process of waking up and getting herself ready for the big day. Just how important can all this be? Is it a concerted effort to assure that the bride will arrive at the church late? Why is she late? Can't she be on time like polite and respectful people? Is it more important to be late and be noticed than to be on time for a religious experience?
Then of course we move to the reception site. More eye candy, gleaming table settings and more $1,000 suits and dresses. Expensive whiskey, signature beer and top label wine, loud music, silly little speeches, garter and bouquet throwing, money dance and a few more details that escape me for the moment.
My father would have been proud of the couple. They stayed at the party for the entire time. They didn't slip out to catch a plane and they were accessible to all the guests. Give them credit, they were there.
I'll tell you this, I've been to funerals that have meant the same to me as this wedding. They lasted three days. There was no doubt, the person who caused it all wasn't around to enjoy it, question it or fight it. There was no doubt, the family "celebrating" the deceased was enjoying the "bling."
Maybe funerals are good occasions for that sort of thing. But in both cases there is something that I find immoral.
Is it moral to spend forty percent of the family's annual income for such an event? Is it moral to put the family's willingness to spend lavishly on display in front of the recognition due the religious experience of the couple? Is it moral to kidnap the life of a family for over a year to focus on one event through a morass of energy sapping details?
Mothers and fathers, tell your marrying sons and daughters that you are not spending yourself into debt that will take longer than six months to overcome. Tell that to your relatives too. That means that you're planning a very small event indeed and that it is none of their business to tell you to do differently.
Sons and daughters, tell your mothers and fathers that if they have $50,000 to spend on making themselves look good at your wedding, tell them to make you look good by giving you $40,000 of it for your "settling-in" allowance and spend the other $10,000 for whatever they wish. If your parents cannot afford a lavish event, be reasonable, remember who got you there through blood, sweat and tears and be happily convinced that a marriage vow is a marriage vow in a $100.00 ceremony and celebration as well as in a $1,000,000.00 one. Your parents and family can help you more to a successful married life than 500 guests at a glitzy reception.
Parents, remember that it is not you who are being married, it is your children. Support them, but don't overwhelm them by your desire to impress the world.
Children, don't expect your parents to impress the world for you. Chances are, real life is waiting for you just around the corner, and real life doesn't operate on "bling". If you need real help then, your parents will be there. If you've worn them out by having them fulfill your Cinderella dream, then neither they nor you will have anything in reserve for "real life."
I have already told my family not to spend more than $500.00 on my funeral. I won't be around to hold them to it. My marriage cost me the price of the license and a fifty dollar tip to the priest, thirty years ago.
I try to stay out of my son's wedding plans. I figure that they are none of my business. I will not buy him a gift out of a registry. If I opine that a well planned album of family heirloom pictures is the right thing, that's what he's going to get. Neither he nor his intended, nor her family will dictate to me what I wear for the occasion, because that, I figure, is my business.
There are many of you reading this and not agreeing. There are those who agree, but are not the type to dare convention. There are those who agree and who will get it done. Those who succumb to either personal temptation or social convention to "bling" their way through, will start to cry long before my funeral.
Those who are careful and follow my prescription will have every reason not to cry at my funeral. In fact, they're the ones who will throw the party: cheese (Camembert and Gorgonzola) and crackers, local beer, two-topping pizza (spicy Italian sausage and prosciutto, anchovies on the side) all brought to a resounding close at about 9:30 PM with a round of VSOP Hennessy and Cuban cigars smuggled in through Vatican City.
(Click here to view the rest of the many wonderful articles that await you in www.ParishWorld.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine)
By Paul Dion, STL
I am taking the liberty to write this because I now feel that after I had a close-up experience of the topic, I have to be considered a superbly qualified expert in the field.
Some 18 months ago a young man, whom I know well, asked the parents of his girlfriend if they would consent to his marrying her. They agreed. He then proposed marriage to the lady and she accepted his proposal.
These two rather commonplace events caused a tsunami of universal economic proportions. I must confess that I did not in my wildest dreams ever imagine the lava flow of red hot details that were unleashed on that fateful Valentine's Day of 2005. (Please note that I am leaving out the surreptitious, "what if" gawking excursions in front of the jewlery stores to "check out her taste in diamond rings.)
Bright and early on February 15th the search for the dress began, followed by, guest lists, registries, restaurants, halls, limousine services, dress colors, number of witnesses, age of ring bearer, number of candles, church, time schedules, trimming back the guest list, honeymoon packages, wedding ring shopping, flower color, species and size, clothing for the men, best rental rates, food menus, invitation styles and printers, winery tours, countless hours of merciless advice talks from relatives who hadn't given them the time of day for years, the incessant reminders from certain parents not to forget cousin so-and-so who was the Godfather of your mother's second cousin three times removed, the seating arrangement at the reception, how much alcohol to serve and for how deep into the evening, the constant flow of recommendations of providers of photography services, not to speak of video services, what music to have, live band, electronic music, where to have the rehearsal night dinner and whom to hire as the event coordinator for the day, just to name a few of the gory details.
Some of you are now questioning my right to think of myself as an expert in these matters because I have left out, chosen to omit or just damn clean forgot a lot of the "essential" details. The above only qualify for the title, "secular" details.
The religious details go something like this: Her church or his church. (N.B. The two I know share the same religion) He's real active and has clerical friends. She sleeps-in most Sundays or goes to work, so maybe it might be better to use his church.
Well, I wouldn't jump to that conclusion so quickly, after all her great uncle from Spain bought the statue of the Virgin that's near the sanctuary, and her mother's Godmother is a member of the women's rosary club. You have to check it out. Then you audition singers, you spend hours selecting the Bible readings, the hymns you like, the pitch of the center aisle, who is going to clean up after the ceremony, is rice throwing allowed (The church they used has an Asian pastor, so you know the answer to that one), who is going to read the Scripture, how many candles are going to be lit, do the Godparents get to march in and out and who is going to impart the nuptial blessing.
This is only the first few paragraphs and I'm tired already, and so are they and they are still seven months away from the date.
There is a lot more that I could tell you about the myriad of material details that engulf the couple preparing for marriage. It's worse than Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day all rolled into one.
Even the religious preparations are mandated and "essential" to being eligible for a church wedding, and they too are, like everything else, expensive. I am convinced that the personality changes that I observed in the groom to be during this time were directly related to the social pressure under which he and his fiancée were operating. And this was supposed to be a religious experience. In my opinion, it wasn't, not by a long shot. Oh, the church officials and dignitaries were there, reciting their nostrums and waving their hands, but no one in attendance really paid any attention.
I attended the church ceremony and was rather jarred by the reading from the Scriptures of the Jehovah Witnesses version of the story of Genesis 2. The person sitting at my left is a very knowledgeable person in Theology and she didn't notice a thing!
How could such a thing happen in our church? Easy, no one really cares. As long as the eye candy is there, IT is more important than the spiritual experience, both for the participants in the pews and the couple taking the vow.
The paparazzi were floating around during the ceremony and of course after the ceremony the picture taking went on for an hour. This, I am sure, was a continuation of what had more than likely started at the bride's house as she went through the process of waking up and getting herself ready for the big day. Just how important can all this be? Is it a concerted effort to assure that the bride will arrive at the church late? Why is she late? Can't she be on time like polite and respectful people? Is it more important to be late and be noticed than to be on time for a religious experience?
Then of course we move to the reception site. More eye candy, gleaming table settings and more $1,000 suits and dresses. Expensive whiskey, signature beer and top label wine, loud music, silly little speeches, garter and bouquet throwing, money dance and a few more details that escape me for the moment.
My father would have been proud of the couple. They stayed at the party for the entire time. They didn't slip out to catch a plane and they were accessible to all the guests. Give them credit, they were there.
I'll tell you this, I've been to funerals that have meant the same to me as this wedding. They lasted three days. There was no doubt, the person who caused it all wasn't around to enjoy it, question it or fight it. There was no doubt, the family "celebrating" the deceased was enjoying the "bling."
Maybe funerals are good occasions for that sort of thing. But in both cases there is something that I find immoral.
Is it moral to spend forty percent of the family's annual income for such an event? Is it moral to put the family's willingness to spend lavishly on display in front of the recognition due the religious experience of the couple? Is it moral to kidnap the life of a family for over a year to focus on one event through a morass of energy sapping details?
Mothers and fathers, tell your marrying sons and daughters that you are not spending yourself into debt that will take longer than six months to overcome. Tell that to your relatives too. That means that you're planning a very small event indeed and that it is none of their business to tell you to do differently.
Sons and daughters, tell your mothers and fathers that if they have $50,000 to spend on making themselves look good at your wedding, tell them to make you look good by giving you $40,000 of it for your "settling-in" allowance and spend the other $10,000 for whatever they wish. If your parents cannot afford a lavish event, be reasonable, remember who got you there through blood, sweat and tears and be happily convinced that a marriage vow is a marriage vow in a $100.00 ceremony and celebration as well as in a $1,000,000.00 one. Your parents and family can help you more to a successful married life than 500 guests at a glitzy reception.
Parents, remember that it is not you who are being married, it is your children. Support them, but don't overwhelm them by your desire to impress the world.
Children, don't expect your parents to impress the world for you. Chances are, real life is waiting for you just around the corner, and real life doesn't operate on "bling". If you need real help then, your parents will be there. If you've worn them out by having them fulfill your Cinderella dream, then neither they nor you will have anything in reserve for "real life."
I have already told my family not to spend more than $500.00 on my funeral. I won't be around to hold them to it. My marriage cost me the price of the license and a fifty dollar tip to the priest, thirty years ago.
I try to stay out of my son's wedding plans. I figure that they are none of my business. I will not buy him a gift out of a registry. If I opine that a well planned album of family heirloom pictures is the right thing, that's what he's going to get. Neither he nor his intended, nor her family will dictate to me what I wear for the occasion, because that, I figure, is my business.
There are many of you reading this and not agreeing. There are those who agree, but are not the type to dare convention. There are those who agree and who will get it done. Those who succumb to either personal temptation or social convention to "bling" their way through, will start to cry long before my funeral.
Those who are careful and follow my prescription will have every reason not to cry at my funeral. In fact, they're the ones who will throw the party: cheese (Camembert and Gorgonzola) and crackers, local beer, two-topping pizza (spicy Italian sausage and prosciutto, anchovies on the side) all brought to a resounding close at about 9:30 PM with a round of VSOP Hennessy and Cuban cigars smuggled in through Vatican City.
(Click here to view the rest of the many wonderful articles that await you in www.ParishWorld.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
"Do you also want to leave?" (John, 6;67)
What is your answer?
By Paul Dion, STL
Peter’s answer was another question, “ Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of Eternal Life . We have come to believe and we are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”
Do you have a question as an answer? Something like, “What about my civil marriage?”, “What about my divorce?”, “What about my previous drug use?”, What about my homosexuality?”, “What about my abortion?”, “What about my birth control practices in my marriage?”, What about the money I donate to the ‘embryonic stem-cell’ research lab?”, “What about my disobedience to the Church’s teachings about the sanctity of life?”, and finally, “Why should I listen to the Church when you, Lord are no longer here?”
I have been helping Catholics and Non-Catholics alike to come to grips with Christ’s challenge for several years.
I myself have been asked, “Why don’t you go to the Anglican church?”
My answer has always been, “I have my issues with the Pope, I don’t want to have any with the Queen.”
I have friends who have gone to Eastern churches of one practice or another and seem to have done well. A classmate of mine went to the Anglican Church and became a rather well-known preacher of retreats and teacher of theology.
Finally, I have friends who have left the Catholic Church for Protestant fundamentalist communities thinking that they were going to find Christ. Actually, all they found was the Bible and a community of people who were groping around as blindly as they. They comfort themselves by developing themselves into one-issue leaders for the good of the community. When they get old and tired, the issue is left without the sound of their drum resonating through the community.
I have always been able to see Christ in the Catholic Church. I admit that I sometimes get frustrated with the politics that exist at the human level of the Church. I admit that it gets rather difficult sometimes to accommodate myself in faith in the Church and Faith in Christ.
Sometimes I get to wondering how the rules and regulations mesh with the Will of God. How am I going to know that in following the Church I am following God? How am I going to be sure that this is not another Galileo fiasco? What if we really find out someday that the moon is really made out of green cheese? How will the Church react if and when aliens really do make it here from another world? Or what if we make it there first? Will these beings know the same God that we do? What if they don’t? Better yet, what if they do? What if they know Him better than we do? Would we be jealous of them?
See, I have all these questions. I think I know the answer, but I wonder if the Church’s answer is the same. I trust that Christ has the answers, but sometimes I actually wonder if there is anyone at the higher levels who is really listening.
So, here’s what I do. I just talk to God and tell Him that it is His ball game. I figure that there is no better ball park than the Catholic Church, so I let myself go and enjoy truth as it is presented to me by the Catholic Church.
I have answered Jesus’ question often in my life. My answer has always been a clear statement, “Whether you like it or not, I’m staying.”
The nice part of deciding to stay is that I have faith that if Jesus and His Church could be around for 2,000 years, then there is more than likely still room for me for a few more years. I also believe that the drum that I am beating will be beaten by someone else when I am no longer around and the community will be assured of the eternal dimension of the Catholic Church.
I think that Jesus is still wondering what to do about me. I am getting older and I’m still around. Maybe He is confused. Maybe He is not confused, maybe He is just giving me more and more rope so that He can get more out of me than He ever got before.
Whatever it is, He and His Church are all I know, they are all I really want to know, all I want and all I need.
So I’m staying.
You can’t cry at my funeral for that.
(Click here to view the rest of the many wonderful articles that await you in www.ParishWorld.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine)
By Paul Dion, STL
Peter’s answer was another question, “ Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of Eternal Life . We have come to believe and we are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”
Do you have a question as an answer? Something like, “What about my civil marriage?”, “What about my divorce?”, “What about my previous drug use?”, What about my homosexuality?”, “What about my abortion?”, “What about my birth control practices in my marriage?”, What about the money I donate to the ‘embryonic stem-cell’ research lab?”, “What about my disobedience to the Church’s teachings about the sanctity of life?”, and finally, “Why should I listen to the Church when you, Lord are no longer here?”
I have been helping Catholics and Non-Catholics alike to come to grips with Christ’s challenge for several years.
I myself have been asked, “Why don’t you go to the Anglican church?”
My answer has always been, “I have my issues with the Pope, I don’t want to have any with the Queen.”
I have friends who have gone to Eastern churches of one practice or another and seem to have done well. A classmate of mine went to the Anglican Church and became a rather well-known preacher of retreats and teacher of theology.
Finally, I have friends who have left the Catholic Church for Protestant fundamentalist communities thinking that they were going to find Christ. Actually, all they found was the Bible and a community of people who were groping around as blindly as they. They comfort themselves by developing themselves into one-issue leaders for the good of the community. When they get old and tired, the issue is left without the sound of their drum resonating through the community.
I have always been able to see Christ in the Catholic Church. I admit that I sometimes get frustrated with the politics that exist at the human level of the Church. I admit that it gets rather difficult sometimes to accommodate myself in faith in the Church and Faith in Christ.
Sometimes I get to wondering how the rules and regulations mesh with the Will of God. How am I going to know that in following the Church I am following God? How am I going to be sure that this is not another Galileo fiasco? What if we really find out someday that the moon is really made out of green cheese? How will the Church react if and when aliens really do make it here from another world? Or what if we make it there first? Will these beings know the same God that we do? What if they don’t? Better yet, what if they do? What if they know Him better than we do? Would we be jealous of them?
See, I have all these questions. I think I know the answer, but I wonder if the Church’s answer is the same. I trust that Christ has the answers, but sometimes I actually wonder if there is anyone at the higher levels who is really listening.
So, here’s what I do. I just talk to God and tell Him that it is His ball game. I figure that there is no better ball park than the Catholic Church, so I let myself go and enjoy truth as it is presented to me by the Catholic Church.
I have answered Jesus’ question often in my life. My answer has always been a clear statement, “Whether you like it or not, I’m staying.”
The nice part of deciding to stay is that I have faith that if Jesus and His Church could be around for 2,000 years, then there is more than likely still room for me for a few more years. I also believe that the drum that I am beating will be beaten by someone else when I am no longer around and the community will be assured of the eternal dimension of the Catholic Church.
I think that Jesus is still wondering what to do about me. I am getting older and I’m still around. Maybe He is confused. Maybe He is not confused, maybe He is just giving me more and more rope so that He can get more out of me than He ever got before.
Whatever it is, He and His Church are all I know, they are all I really want to know, all I want and all I need.
So I’m staying.
You can’t cry at my funeral for that.
(Click here to view the rest of the many wonderful articles that await you in www.ParishWorld.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine)
Monday, May 15, 2006
DA VINCI CODE: "I Don't Know How to Love Him"
DA VINCI CODE: “I Don’t Know How to Love Him”[1]
I couldn’t resist that subtitle for all you Mary Magdalene fans.
I can’t believe that I am spitting into that Dan Brown River of ink that is already flowing toward the ocean of insignificance, the “Da Vinci Code.”
I’ve read the book. It is nothing but a $25.00 hard-bound movie script written in miserable fifth grade level English. The “facts” that the author claims to be well researched have been authoritatively corrected by much smarter and better informed people than I.
Let me start by drawing your attention to the sub-title above. It is a clear sign that this is not the first time in modern times that an author has linked Jesus with Mary Magdalene;[2] this is not the first time that an author talks about the Prieuré de Sion;[3] this is not the first time that an author discusses the hidden meanings behind the paintings of Leonardo de Vinci;[4] this is not the first time that an author says nasty things about the Opus Dei[5], and finally, in my lifetime there have been several instances when murder and intrigue in the Vatican made the headlines.
Dan Brown has not revealed anything to the world that the world did not hear or read in the last fifty years or so. In fact his “research” was aimed at the successful publications of some brilliant men who came not too long before him. He has somehow captured the imagination, and the dollars, of the world by weaving a suspenseful story with some “juicy, gossipy” details around a statistically impossible theory.
The “spinal cord” of the story is the belief that the royal blood of King David still flows in some real people living in Europe. This royal blood comes from Jesus who is king because he is from David.[6] Jesus and Mary Magdalene are said to have had a child. Mary and child supposedly escaped to Europe (Southern France) after the crucifixion. The child married and her descendants form the still active Merovingian Royal Blood Line[7].
That would mean that King David’s descendants would still be alive and well and continuing his blood line 2,500 years after his death. Not bad, eh? What’s even weirder is to hear how Jesus’ progeny reached Europe in the first place. But I’ll leave that for another time and place. It might take a drink or two to get that one out of me.
This “thread” that keeps the book going is not one that takes up much mental space in the world today. Most people are talking about the “racy” topic of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. They gossip and opine about how Da Vinci portrays Mary of Magdala at the right of Jesus during the Last Supper and how Peter was jealous of her because she was stealing Jesus’ time away from the apostles.
And people are worried about what is being said about the Opus Dei. Who cares about the Opus Dei? Maybe we could start a rumor that they have infiltrated the U.S. Supreme Court through John Roberts and/or Sam Alito. The Knights of Columbus certainly already have. None of this emotional energy is going to get anyone anywhere.
Since I am neither Opus Dei nor Knights of Columbus, nor Prieuré de Sion, nor Knight Templar, nor Knight of Malta, nor Knight of Saint Gregory nor Freemason, nor Rotary, nor Elk, here is my long-winded suggestion.
If you want exciting reading, do read the Bible. There’s a good murder Story in Genesis, chapter 4. There’s family intrigue and skullduggery in a family of twelve that turns out well at the end, starting at Genesis 37. The book of Judith is about a new widow who saves her country by seducing the invading commander (Rated R). If you don’t have too much time, read the story of the reluctant missionary who couldn’t dodge God’s will because a big fish belched him up on the shore of the place where God wanted him in the first place.[8]
Poetry? Hmmm, poetry, you say… Oh, go to the book of Job, chapter 38 on. I dare you to lay it down once you start. You need some quiet time? You know, meditation? There are 150 songs (psalms) right in the middle of the Bible. Hey, knock yourself out. Having trouble with your boys tonight, Mom? Turn off the TV, shut down the PC and the Nintendo, sit them in a corner and read them a couple of thoughts from the book of Proverbs. It says in there that they should obey their parents so they will live to a happy old age.
The Bible contains well over 1,500 pages of good stuff. Use it for any problem you might have. You don’t believe me? Can’t sleep tonight? Tossing and turning? Grab that Bible, open it to the fourth book of the Bible, “Numbers.” I guarantee the results, “zzzz’s” in five minutes.
Yes, dear friends, have all the fun you want with the “Da Vinci Code” but I guarantee that you will make yourself a whole lot happier if you keep coming home to the Bible. Remember, it took the Vatican officials three years before they even acknowledged the very existence of the “Da Vinci Code,” and even then they weren’t all that worked up about it.
So, here’s my bottom line, short and sweet suggestion:
Don’t buy the book. It’s more interesting if you borrow it and get a free read. Smart readers can read it in about 6 hours. Like I said, 5th grade English is easy to read.
Then, have some fun. Don’t say a word as you listen to all the cockamamie comments of the bozos who have a negative opinion about it but have neither read the book nor seen the movie yet.
Don’t see the movie in the theatre. Wait until it comes out on tape or disk, invite yourself over to your friend’s house or some such and enjoy it there for free. That way, it will be a lot more fun and you just might score a meal too.
Follow my advice about the “Da Vinci Code” and you’ll know why you won’t want to cry at my funeral.
[1] Webber, Andrew Lloyd, music and Rice, Tim, lyrics 1971
[2] Kazantsakis, Nikos; “The Last Temptation of Christ” 1960
[3] Eco, Umberto; “Foucault’s Pendulum” 1988
[4] Baigent, Michael; Leigh, Richard; Lincoln, Henry; “Holy Blood, Holy Grail” 1982
[5] Baigent, Michael; Leigh, Richard; Lincoln, Henry; “The Messianic Legacy” 1986
[6] Matthew, 1: 1-17
[7] Baigent, Michael; Leigh, Richard; Lincoln, Henry; “Holy Blood, Holy Grail” 1982
[8] Jonah
(Click here to view the rest of the many wonderful articles that await you in www.ParishWorld.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine)
I couldn’t resist that subtitle for all you Mary Magdalene fans.
I can’t believe that I am spitting into that Dan Brown River of ink that is already flowing toward the ocean of insignificance, the “Da Vinci Code.”
I’ve read the book. It is nothing but a $25.00 hard-bound movie script written in miserable fifth grade level English. The “facts” that the author claims to be well researched have been authoritatively corrected by much smarter and better informed people than I.
Let me start by drawing your attention to the sub-title above. It is a clear sign that this is not the first time in modern times that an author has linked Jesus with Mary Magdalene;[2] this is not the first time that an author talks about the Prieuré de Sion;[3] this is not the first time that an author discusses the hidden meanings behind the paintings of Leonardo de Vinci;[4] this is not the first time that an author says nasty things about the Opus Dei[5], and finally, in my lifetime there have been several instances when murder and intrigue in the Vatican made the headlines.
Dan Brown has not revealed anything to the world that the world did not hear or read in the last fifty years or so. In fact his “research” was aimed at the successful publications of some brilliant men who came not too long before him. He has somehow captured the imagination, and the dollars, of the world by weaving a suspenseful story with some “juicy, gossipy” details around a statistically impossible theory.
The “spinal cord” of the story is the belief that the royal blood of King David still flows in some real people living in Europe. This royal blood comes from Jesus who is king because he is from David.[6] Jesus and Mary Magdalene are said to have had a child. Mary and child supposedly escaped to Europe (Southern France) after the crucifixion. The child married and her descendants form the still active Merovingian Royal Blood Line[7].
That would mean that King David’s descendants would still be alive and well and continuing his blood line 2,500 years after his death. Not bad, eh? What’s even weirder is to hear how Jesus’ progeny reached Europe in the first place. But I’ll leave that for another time and place. It might take a drink or two to get that one out of me.
This “thread” that keeps the book going is not one that takes up much mental space in the world today. Most people are talking about the “racy” topic of Jesus and Mary Magdalene. They gossip and opine about how Da Vinci portrays Mary of Magdala at the right of Jesus during the Last Supper and how Peter was jealous of her because she was stealing Jesus’ time away from the apostles.
And people are worried about what is being said about the Opus Dei. Who cares about the Opus Dei? Maybe we could start a rumor that they have infiltrated the U.S. Supreme Court through John Roberts and/or Sam Alito. The Knights of Columbus certainly already have. None of this emotional energy is going to get anyone anywhere.
Since I am neither Opus Dei nor Knights of Columbus, nor Prieuré de Sion, nor Knight Templar, nor Knight of Malta, nor Knight of Saint Gregory nor Freemason, nor Rotary, nor Elk, here is my long-winded suggestion.
If you want exciting reading, do read the Bible. There’s a good murder Story in Genesis, chapter 4. There’s family intrigue and skullduggery in a family of twelve that turns out well at the end, starting at Genesis 37. The book of Judith is about a new widow who saves her country by seducing the invading commander (Rated R). If you don’t have too much time, read the story of the reluctant missionary who couldn’t dodge God’s will because a big fish belched him up on the shore of the place where God wanted him in the first place.[8]
Poetry? Hmmm, poetry, you say… Oh, go to the book of Job, chapter 38 on. I dare you to lay it down once you start. You need some quiet time? You know, meditation? There are 150 songs (psalms) right in the middle of the Bible. Hey, knock yourself out. Having trouble with your boys tonight, Mom? Turn off the TV, shut down the PC and the Nintendo, sit them in a corner and read them a couple of thoughts from the book of Proverbs. It says in there that they should obey their parents so they will live to a happy old age.
The Bible contains well over 1,500 pages of good stuff. Use it for any problem you might have. You don’t believe me? Can’t sleep tonight? Tossing and turning? Grab that Bible, open it to the fourth book of the Bible, “Numbers.” I guarantee the results, “zzzz’s” in five minutes.
Yes, dear friends, have all the fun you want with the “Da Vinci Code” but I guarantee that you will make yourself a whole lot happier if you keep coming home to the Bible. Remember, it took the Vatican officials three years before they even acknowledged the very existence of the “Da Vinci Code,” and even then they weren’t all that worked up about it.
So, here’s my bottom line, short and sweet suggestion:
Don’t buy the book. It’s more interesting if you borrow it and get a free read. Smart readers can read it in about 6 hours. Like I said, 5th grade English is easy to read.
Then, have some fun. Don’t say a word as you listen to all the cockamamie comments of the bozos who have a negative opinion about it but have neither read the book nor seen the movie yet.
Don’t see the movie in the theatre. Wait until it comes out on tape or disk, invite yourself over to your friend’s house or some such and enjoy it there for free. That way, it will be a lot more fun and you just might score a meal too.
Follow my advice about the “Da Vinci Code” and you’ll know why you won’t want to cry at my funeral.
[1] Webber, Andrew Lloyd, music and Rice, Tim, lyrics 1971
[2] Kazantsakis, Nikos; “The Last Temptation of Christ” 1960
[3] Eco, Umberto; “Foucault’s Pendulum” 1988
[4] Baigent, Michael; Leigh, Richard; Lincoln, Henry; “Holy Blood, Holy Grail” 1982
[5] Baigent, Michael; Leigh, Richard; Lincoln, Henry; “The Messianic Legacy” 1986
[6] Matthew, 1: 1-17
[7] Baigent, Michael; Leigh, Richard; Lincoln, Henry; “Holy Blood, Holy Grail” 1982
[8] Jonah
(Click here to view the rest of the many wonderful articles that await you in www.ParishWorld.net, America's Catholic Lifestyle Magazine)
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