NO CRYING AT MY FUNERAL

NO CRYING AT MY FUNERAL

Thursday, March 27, 2014

“HOLDING ON TO ANGER IS LIKE DRINKING POISON AND WAITING FOR THE OTHER PERSON TO DIE”


The "Patron Saint" of the Memorial Mass
to support the surviving family members
of those who have lost their lives in an
act of violence
This has been said at least once in the history of humanity and repeated at least a million times in many ways and in many languages.   Yesterday evening (March 26, 2014) we prayed at a special Mass offered for the support and implanting of hope in the hearts and souls of the families who suffer from the loss of a dear one through an act of violence.   This holy sacrifice of the Mass took place at the church of St. Christopher in Moreno Valley, California.
After the initial welcoming and blessing and before the penitential rite, the survivors present were called to the “shrine” that had been set up by the side of the altar.  This shrine was built around the baptismal font and featured the lit Paschal Candle to the side and an image of the Pieta in the center.  Family by family they approached holding a photograph of the victim and a small card with the name of the victim and the date and cause of death written on it.  They turned and face the congregation and proclaimed the information written on the card.  They then went to receive a candle that had been lit from the Paschal Candle, symbol of Life after the Resurrection, and they placed the photo and the candle in a space at the feet of the shrine.
After introducing the victim’s profile and while they turned to enshrine the photo, the majestic ring of the historic church bell of the parish was struck once.  The reverberations of the bell filled the church 32 times on this night of prayerful connection with the Resurrected Christ. 
Unbeknownst to us, the Priest offering the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, Very Reverend Rafael Partida informed us that he had two uncles who had died violently as the result of gunshot wounds.  One of them died saving the life of one of his sons while at a family gathering.  

Father Partida used the words of his grandfather as the focus of the lesson of the ritual.

I can’t quote him, but briefly here is the story.  After losing four sons, two as mentioned above, Grandfather said that we are now going to prove that we are a good family.  We will gather together and decide to do good.  True, we are sad.  True, sadness weighs heavily on our hearts.  The goodness in us will lighten that load.  True we are angry.  Anger is poison.  True we are tempted to drink the poison of anger and hatred.  We will not do it.  We will continue to live out our conviction that we are a good family.  We will not allow the poison of irrevocable anger to take our lives of goodness away from us.  This will not be easy, but with our God-given goodness as a family, we can do it.

At the moment of the final blessing, Father Partida described the cultural ritual practiced by his Native American mother.  At funerals she would go around giving a spoonful of water to drink with the lesson,        “We drink of this water mixed with tears to revive our hope in life.”


Father then thanked us for giving him the honor to lead us in the Eucharist and share together the revival of our hope in life and the reconciling victory over anger and hatred.

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" Garder sa colère , c'est comme boire du poison et attendre la mort de l'autre personne"

Cela a été dit au moins une fois dans l'histoire de l'humanité et répétées au moins un million de fois  par après dans de nombreuses façons et dans de nombreuses langues . Hier soir ( Mars 26 , 2014) , nous avons prié en communauté lors d'une messe spéciale offerte pour le soutien et la croissance de l'espoir dans les cœurs et les âmes des familles qui souffrent de la perte d'un être cher par un acte de violence . Ce saint sacrifice de la messe a eu lieu à l'église de Saint-Christophe à Moreno Valley, Californie.
Après l'accueil et la bénédiction et avant le rite pénitentiel, les survivants présents ont été appelés au «sanctuaire » qui avait été mis en place par le côté de l'autel.  Ce sanctuaire a été construit autour des fonts baptismaux accentue par le cierge pascal allumé sur le côté avec une photo de la Pieta au centre. Famille par famille les représentants des familles s’approchaient tenant une photographie de la victime et une petite carte avec le nom de la victime, la date et la cause de la mort écrit.  Ils ont tourné pour faire face à la congrégation et proclamer les informations écrites sur la carte . Ils sont ensuite allés à recevoir une bougie qui avait été allumé a la flamme du cierge pascal, symbole de la vie après la résurrection, et ils ont placé la photo et la bougie dans un espace aux pieds du petit sanctuaire.
Après avoir présenté le profil de la victime et alors qu'ils recevaient la bougi pour tout placer au ras le sanctuaire, la cloche historique de la paroisse, qui maintenant se garde dans l’église même,  était frappé une fois. Les répercussions de la cloche remplissaient l'église 32 fois cette nuit de connexion de prière avec le Christ ressuscité.
À notre insu, le prêtre qui offrait le Saint Sacrifice de la Messe, Très Révérend Rafael Partida nous a informés qu'il avait deux oncles qui avaient connu une mort violente à la suite de blessures par balle. L'un d'eux est décédé en sauvant la vie d’un de ses fils lors d'une réunion de famille.

Père Partida utilisât les mots de son grand-père comme la mise au point de la leçon du rituel .

Je ne peux pas le citer, mais brièvement, je raconte l’histoire. Après avoir perdu quatre fils, dont deux comme mentionné ci-dessus, le grand-père a dit que nous allons maintenant prouver que nous sommes une bonne famille. Nous allons nous réunir et décider de faire le bien. Certes, nous sommes tristes. Certes, la tristesse pèse lourdement sur nos cœurs. La bonté nous en permettra d'alléger cette charge. Vrai que nous sommes en colère. La colère est un poison. Vrai que nous sommes tentés de boire de ce venin de colère et de haine. Nous ne le ferons pas. Nous allons continuer à vivre notre conviction que nous sommes une bonne famille. Nous ne permettrons pas que le venin de la colère irrévocable prenne charge de nos vies de bonté.  Ce ne sera pas facile, mais avec notre Dieu-donnée bonté, en  famille , nous pouvons le faire .

Au moment de la bénédiction finale, le père Partida décrit le rite culturel pratiqué par sa mère amérindienne. Lors des funérailles, elle faisait le tour des membres de la famille pour leur donner  une cuillerée d'eau à boire avec la leçon: «Nous buvons de cette eau mélangée avec des larmes pour relancer notre espoir dans la vie."

Le père nous a ensuite remercié de lui avoir donné l'honneur de célébrer Eucharistie pour partager ensemble la renaissance de notre espérance dans la vie et la victoire de notre conciliation sur la colère et la haine.

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“Aferrarse a la ira es como beber veneno y esperar que la otra persona muera "

Esto se ha dicho por lo menos una vez en la historia de la humanidad y repetido al menos un millón de veces de muchas maneras y en muchos idiomas.  Ayer por la tarde (26 de marzo de 2014) hemos rezado en una misa especial ofrecida por el apoyo y la implantación de la esperanza en los corazones y las almas de las familias que sufren de la pérdida de un ser querido a través de un acto de violencia. Este santo sacrificio de la misa tuvo lugar en la iglesia de St. Christopher en Moreno Valley, California.
Después de la bienvenida y la bendición y antes del acto penitencial, los supervivientes presentes fueron llamados al "santuario" que había sido establecido por el lado del altar. Este santuario fue construido alrededor de la  bautismal y contó con el encendido del Cirio Pascual a un lado y . Familia por familia se acercaron a la celebración de una fotografía de la víctima y una pequeña tarjeta con el nombre de la víctima y la fecha y causa de muerte por escrito en él. Dieron media vuelta y se enfrentan a la congregación y proclamaron la información escrita en la tarjeta. Luego fueron a recibir una vela que había encendido del cirio pascual , símbolo de la vida después de la Resurrección , y colocaron la foto y la vela en un espacio a los pies de la ermita .
Después de presentar el perfil de la víctima y al mismo tiempo se volvieron a consagrar la foto, la campana historica de la parroquia que ahora se queda dentro del templo fue golpeado una vez . Las reverberaciones de la campana llenaron la iglesia 32 veces en esta noche de conexión espiritual con Cristo Resucitado .
Sin saberlo nosotros, el Sacerdote que ofreio el Santo Sacrificio de la Misa , Muy Reverendo Rafael Partida nos informó que tenía dos tíos que habían muerto violentamente como consecuencia de heridas de bala. Uno de ellos murió salvando la vida de uno de sus hijos , mientras que estaban en una reunión familiar .

Padre Partida utilizo las palabras de su abuelo como el foco de la lección del ritual.

No puedo citar, pero brevemente raconto la historia. Después de haber perdido cuatro hijos, dos como se mencionó anteriormente, el abuelo dijo que ahora vamos a demostrar que somos una buena familia. Nos reuniremos y decidiremos a hacer el bien. Es cierto, estamos tristes. Es cierto que la tristeza pesa mucho en nuestros corazones. La bondad en nosotros aliviará esa carga. Es cierto que estamos enojados. La ira es un veneno. Es cierto que somos tentados a beber el veneno de la ira y el odio. No vamos a hacerlo. Vamos a seguir para vivir nuestra convicción de que somos una buena familia. No permitiremos que el veneno de la ira irrevocable envolucrara nuestras vidas danando la bondad que tenemos como familia. Esto no será fácil, pero con nuestra bondad dada por Dios a nuestra familia, podemos hacerlo .

En el momento de la bendición final , el padre Partida describió el ritual cultural, practicado por su madre nativa americana. En los funerales se iba por ahí dando una cucharada de agua para beber con la lección: 
"Bebemos de esta agua mezclada con lágrimas para revivir nuestra esperanza en la vida. "

Para terminar la celebracion, el padre nos dio las gracias por darle el honor que nos guíe en la Eucaristía y compartir juntos el renacimiento de nuestra esperanza en la vida y la victoria reconciliadora a través de la ira y el odio.

Monday, March 17, 2014

TAKE UP YOUR CROSS AND SHARE YOUR SUFFERING WITH ME



Beloved:
Bear your share of hardship for the gospel
with the strength that comes from God.


He saved us and called us to a holy life,

not according to our works

but according to his own design
and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began,
but now made manifest 
through the appearance of our savior Christ Jesus,
who destroyed death and brought life and immortality
to light through the gospel.   (Paul's 2nd letter to Timothy, Chapter 1, verses 8 to 10)



A strange thing happened to me as I was sitting in the pew listening to the lector deliver the second reading from Sacred Scripture.  It was read so perfunctorily that it is a good thing that it was short.  This gave me the time to look back on the moment not quite halfway through when the lector did not make the proper inflection to give the message its deepest meaning.  I highlighted the words that I thought should have been stressed, but were not.

These days we seem to be running away from the difficulties of life.  These days we are so full of the conviction that as long as we believe in Jesus that everything will be fine.  We are full of the conviction that Jesus and His Father are so merciful that they could not possibly be so displeased with us that they would condemn us to Hell for all eternity.  We are so comfortable with being surrounded by crosses that have no suffering represented on them that we ourselves don't feel called to join Jesus and consider the cross as the tool of torture that it really is.  Yes, we are so busy seeking the comfortable life that we have bleached suffering out of our lives.  

We don't like to think that the Cross is meant to be a part of our lives too. Jesus made a point of reminding us that we too have to carry our cross on the road of life.  Jesus came to show us the way to Salvation.  Jesus came to show us the value of sacrifice.  Jesus came to show us that to love is to serve and to serve is to die for those among whom we live.  Jesus came to show us that suffering is not a personal belonging.  Suffering is a shared way of life between us and Him.  A cross without Him on it reminds us of our desire for the easy way out.  It doesn't show us where He told us we should be.  In all three Synoptic Gospels His quoted words tell us where our place is.  St. Paul doesn't mince words either when he writes to Timothy.  If we want to get through the Pearly Gates, we have to share in the passion and death of Jesus...yes, a death on the cross.

Think about it.  Jesus saying that we have to take up our cross. St. Paul agreeing with Him and saying that we have to share in His hardship in the Gospel so that through His grace we can walk by His side and get through the narrow gate that leads to Heaven.  Don't take your eyes off your crucifix.  Remember that you have one of those to carry.  Remember that what leads up to death is not easy.  It's not necessarily painful, but it is necessarily difficult.  There is no easy road to salvation.  Anyone who thinks that there is, is delusional.  Remember, we don't get there by doing it our way...we get there by living according to His designs.

So, in the words of Jesus Himself:  "Stay ready because you know not the day nor the hour."  (Matt. 25;13)

When you remember that I wrote these words, you will have not the slightest inclination to cry at my funeral.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

ONCE A CATHOLIC, ALWAYS A CATHOLIC

Let me start by saying that I thought the title was original.  It is not. It was first written by a British novelist named Angus Wilson, born in 1913...Same year as my father, EFR Dion.  I decided that I would not change the title, but feel obliged to give credit where credit is due.
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 I was in a conversation this morning that went like this, practically word for word.  It was on the telephone and we were conducting business about other matters.  The telephone call was in response to an email that I had sent to the business man who was calling.  My email signature at the bottom is an invitation to a pilgrimage in the Holy Land.    
I will spare you the introductory comments and cut to the chase...
He: So your Catholic?
I:    Yes, I am.
He: I'm Christian. 
I:    OK
He: I was Catholic, Baptized and all.  My wife was too.  
      we're both Christian now.
I:    No, you're still Catholic.  You're Catholic forever.  All your life.
He: Really?
I:    Yes.  95% of Christians who speak to me say exactly
      what you just  said, "I was Catholic..."  
      meaning to say that you still are, otherwise you would 
      not make that comment.
He:  Really?
I:     Yes.  Really.  A Catholic is a Catholic forever.  
        (The silence was deafening.)
It was then time to return to business.  What remained unsaid was that the rest of the congregation seated in the pews around this person and his loving spouse is certainly in the range of 75 to 80% "ex" Catholics.  The reason why they are so assiduous in their church attendance is because they are still Catholic.  The true blue, 100% dyed-in-the-wool Bible only, Faith only Protestant (Yes, we are all Christian and they are Protestant) is out playing golf.  In fact there is at least a 60 to 70% probability that the preacher at the church frequented by this person is also an "ex" Catholic.
You see, dear reader, Jesus Christ doesn't let go.  His Father taught Him well.  He, God the Father, never lets go.  How many centuries has God kept His Israelite/Hebrew/Jewish people under His wing?  Frankly, brothers and sisters, at that rate, Jesus Christ is just beginning.  He has much more patience and forebearance than His people do.  Even those who escape from the Catholic Church cannot escape from the doctrinal spirituality of the Bride of Christ.  The CHURCH is a mother that never lets go.  Catholics always remember who their mother is...no matter where they wander off to.  
The person to whom I was speaking this morning is not close to me.  In fact I am still wondering whether to trust him or not.  We are working on a serious project, so I pray that all will go well.  Now that I have told him that no matter what he does, he and his spouse are Catholic forever, I wonder what he will do with that idea.

It is easy for me to say things like that to people.  I am a Catholic forever; I am baptized forever; I am confirmed forever; and I am ordained forever.  With all of those "forevers" going for me, don't you dare cry at my funeral.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

DEALING WITH ORDINARY TIME

8th Sunday in Ordinary Time:
“…Deliver us from evil.” [Mt 6; 13]
 Sufficient for a day is its own evil.”  [Mt 6; 34]

Ordinary time is a rather confusing name for a season.  We are more accustomed to having specific expectations when we give names to times.  We know what to expect when we list the names of the seasons:  Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.  We know what hard times are and we recognize good times when we see them too. 

We struggle with ordinary time because the word ordinary does not bring much dynamism to our minds.  It’s more a synonym for garden variety than for fire and brimstone.  If only we could bring ourselves to relate it with “Order” – “Command” – “Arrange”.  In that case we would have a different attitude.  We would know that there is something to do to get our lives in order. 

The readings of today all point to order.  They talk to us about ordinary slices of life.  Read them again and hear what they are saying.  Mothers don’t forget babies; I don’t judge myself but I know that I do not stand acquitted.  Realize where you are in the order of nature, and of the supernatural.  Realize that every single day has a beginning a middle and an end.  Some of it will be calm and peaceful and some will be turbulent.  You aren’t going to change that, so hold my hand through it all and you’ll be fine.

Jesus just told us to pray that His Father spare us from evil.  Deliver us from disorder.  Deliver us from inner turbulence. Deliver us from the tendencies that we have to consort with the lesser angels.  Give us a well ordered mind and heart so that we can persevere in the grace of peace and tranquility.


Ordinary time.  Time to get our intellectual, emotional and spiritual life in order.  Come down from the pressure of six weeks of intense disorder between my secular self and You.  Six weeks of Santa Claus versus Jesus.  Six weeks of New Year’s resolution versus guilt from having failed in the pursuit of last year’s resolution.  Time to put first things first.  When first things are first, and last things are last, then evil doesn’t reign.  When things are in order, life is ordinary.  When life is ordinary, we are ordinarily quiet and comfortable with God.  What could be better than that?