THE JOY OF LOVE - MATRIMONIAL LOVE, I MEAN

I have read the papal encyclical "Amoris Laetitia" and I have to say that there are many beautiful things that are said here about conjugal love.  The first seven chapters are not an easy read for a lot of reasons. My greatest difficulty was that it was hard to get by what struck me as the constant reach for another way to say the same thing.  In term of encyclical writing 101, this particular effort does not shine very brightly.

I have to say that it is perhaps that I was reading in anticipation of meeting what I had been told were serious difficulties with the orthodoxy of the letter that I was already being critical of what I had before me.  Maybe yes, maybe no.  My jury is still out on that.

Chapter 8 struck me as the one where the pope steps in “it.”  I have to say that the sacrament of matrimony is an extremely complex reality.  It is a mixture of secular requirements and ecclesiastical ones.  It is a contract and a spiritual vow.  It engages the conscience in challenging ways. Marriage is marriage for the whole of humanity but it is in the Catholic Universe that it is defined as a sacrament – a divine grace handed down to us by Jesus Christ.  It is the sacrament for which the ministers are the two spouses.  The people who give themselves to life in matrimony live in a world that tests the grace of matrimony in many changing ways every single day.  Every single day the sacramental grace of matrimony is tested in the vastly demanding and dynamic reality of the world.

It is my opinion that in this encyclical the pope tried to do something that none has every tried before. He tried to make public what is impossible to make public.  The conscience of human beings does not lend itself to the public square.  There is no human being who can judge another human being’s conscience through direct knowledge of it.  All any human being can do for another is to offer the measures of the boundaries of right and wrong. The exercise of the behavior is always under the control of the one who is behaving.

The pope in this letter waded into conscientious personal behavior territory at a level that is impossible to legislate or even to regulate with any hope of success.  The realities that one confronts in a myriad of matrimonial “situations” are too convoluted and too personal to be the object of absolute rules and regulations. The behavior that they call forth can only be judged between God and the “actors.”

I spent many years working in the marriage tribunal of the Catholic Church in two dioceses.  I cannot begin to recount the human entanglements to which I was privy and expected to untangle.  I cannot tell you how many “impossible situations” I had to consider.  In the end, I don’t know how many, if any, of the believers who were living these “situations” decided to participate fully in the sacraments (Eucharist) as a matter of conscience after they left my office unrequited.

I have not spent any serious time reading the oceans of “ink” that have been spilled in the discussions about this encyclical.  It is my guess that many of the discussions revolve around the absolute requirements of the Gospel and the attendant documents of the Church through the ages.  I have not spent any time studying the impact that the Church’s exercise of the annulment process has felt due to the reaction to the encyclical. 

Finally, I reiterate, the pope tried to answer the question, “Who among you whose animal had fallen into a well on the Sabbath not work to free it from death?”   There is also the consideration that tending to bloody victims of crime on the Sabbath is left to the occasional Samaritan who happens by.

Yes, Francis, some things are better left alone.   Matrimony x 2 is one of them.

I tell you all that if you enjoy love to the hilt, you will not be close to crying at my funeral.  

POSSIBILITIES OF AN "IMPOSSIBLE" SITUATION -- WE'RE TALKING MARRIAGE

This may have made you smile when you first let your eyes fall upon it.  That's OK. When I was looking for something to depict what I want to present, I smiled at this and moved on to something more "meaningful" and less humorous.  Well, as you can readily see, I changed my mind.
I changed my mind because the humor depicted here is also a part of the solution that I intend to propose concerning those Catholics who are in the "Impossible Situation" of an invalid marriage surrounded by children who are being taught to be faithful to Sunday Mass attendance.  That in itself, is half bad.  It gets worse when the children get to be eligible to approach the altar of communion while Mama and Papa must refrain.
Those who for some reason, and there are many reasons, must sit by and pray silently by themselves in the pew while many around them go to the altar for communion are certainly in a challenging position.  For some it is because they are in a second marriage after a divorce following a wedding in the Catholic Church;  for others it is because they simply did not follow the prescribed path to get married in the Catholic Church.  This writing is not intended to suggest means to rectify the situation.  This writing is offered under the presumption that the person who is not receiving Communion is in a life situation that doesn't have an immediate solution within the laws and practices of the Catholic Church for the time being.  It's like the person in the picture above. He and his load are underway and there is nothing that can be done to make the situation better except to keep it going in the hope that all will end well.

There are lines of misinformation concerning the life situation of people who for one reason or another are caught in the margin of the Church doctrine concerning the Sacrament of Matrimony. Those who live in that margin are told many things by people of all walks of life about their situation.  It is understandable  that much of the popular information about the sacrament of marriage is marginally true and exact, at best.  It takes some fairly well informed specialists to master the intricacies of Church Law and Doctrine about Marriage.
That is why Pope Francis and his pool of leaders are looking for ways to simplify the intricacies and clarify the doctrine.  This is a huge challenge not only because the Church must not change the doctrine but is must also be careful that whatever it does will be easy enough for the faithful to understand that the change is in the practice and not the doctrine.
Whatever happens will require some intense communication from the rectories of the world.  First, the priests will have to learn and fall in line.  Then they will have to instruct the faithful.  Second, the faithfull will have to learn and fall in line.  The priests must be ready to provide the truth, pure and simple. The priests will have to be far more reliable than the media outlets.
In the meantime, you who must sit and wait, must also pray and join your heart and soul to Jesus, sacrificed on the Altar for everyone's salvation.  Use the moment for intense communion of heart and soul and you will be supported by the Lord Jesus Himself.  Stay focused; Hold Jesus' hand;  You're alone with Him beside you in the pew.  Take advantage of that and talk to Him.  He's there and He never turns a dear ear to those who direct their ideas and their love toward Him.  Mostly, remember, you are not condemned.  You are loved.  Take advantage of the moment and invite Jesus to invade you in Spiritual Communion.

So get ready.  Fasten your seat belt and leave your handkerchief at home because after this you won't be tempted to cry at my funeral.

LEAVING MOTHER AND FATHER FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE

Marriage and Celibacy according to Jesus:

4 He answered, 'Have you not read that the Creator from the beginning made them male and female

5 and that he said: This is why a man leaves his father and mother and becomes attached to his wife, and the two become one flesh?  [Quote from Genesis, chapter 2, verse 24]
6 They are no longer two, therefore, but one flesh. So then, what God has united, human beings must not divide."

+++++++++++++++++++++

10 The disciples said to him, 'If that is how things are between husband and wife, it is advisable not to marry."
11 But he replied, 'It is not everyone who can accept what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted.
12 There are eunuchs born so from their mother's womb, there are eunuchs made so by human agency and there are eunuchs who have made themselves so for the sake of the kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can." (The Gospel of Matthew)


There are two mysteries wrapped up in this passage of Matthew.  Each one of them refers to the same thought that is expressed by God the Creator in Genesis.  Each one of them is as ancient as human beings.  Humans have always found a way to relate to God in order to be complete in their being.  /For the most part humans follow the path that was outlined by God, they leave everything behind in order to devote themselves to an exclusive communitarian relationship between man and woman.  This is a basic human calling that God set forth for the greater good of his earthly creatures.  It is His plan that the male should not be afraid to collaborate with God Himself to make the world a better place.  It is His plan that the woman should stay by the man's side as a loving partner for the sake of the betterment of the world as well.  The role of the man was considered to be important for the health and protection of the woman.
In the early going, one man was often responsible for more than one woman.   As time went on, however, the relationship between humans and God became more defined and the cleaving of man to woman and vice versa became more exclusive.  There is a good example of the difficulties that polygamy presented to God fearing, righteous people in the very first chapter of the first book of Samuel.  Alkanah, the man, had more than one wife.  He had one whom he liked more then the other.  The difficulty was that the one whom he really loved was barren.  Her name was Hannah.  The lesser loved of the two, who disliked Hannah, was Penninah.  As far as love stories go, this one is quite touching.  Hannah turns out to be the mother of Samuel the great Patriarch who himself never married, but gave himself completely to God, right from the moment of his birth, through the vow of his mother.  It is therefore quite clear that when Jesus talks about those who are eunuchs by their own doing, do it for the Kingdom of Heaven, he had some examples to fall back on.
It is therefore important to our religious and spiritual life that we have people who are able to live the advice and the pronouncements of God and His Son Jesus for the sake of the Kingdom.
I dare say that Jesus came to us to clarify a lot of things that needed clarifying from the Old Testament.  One of them, of course has to do with the way humans live and how they relate to one another and to God Himself.  For the many, it is through the grace of Matrimony.  For "Those who can" it is through a complete dedication of self to the Kingdom.
It is clear in the Scripture that in both cases, "man" leaves his father and mother" to cleave to another person. In the case of Matrimony, he and his spouse cleave to one another.  In the case of the dedicated eunuch, man and woman, father and mother are left behind for the total dedication of self to the Kingdom.  In both cases, Jesus doesn't negotiate anything away.  He says simply, "'It is not everyone who can accept what I have said, but only those to whom it is granted. ... Let anyone accept this who can."
This is why it is clearly defined by the Catholic church that these two states of life are perpetual.  They cannot be negotiated away and substituted for by an alternative status.  Jesus says it clearly, that he/she who is divorced and who goes and lies with another commits adultery.  The same goes for the dedicated celibate.  We have the story of Samson that shows us the consequences of violating the vowed dedication that was made to God and forsaken in sin.  Closer to Jesus, we have the story of David, the great sinner as well as the great saint.
In the Gospels we have the great example of both kinds of dedication.  We have the stories of righteous married people and the example of John the Baptist, John the Evangelist and Jesus Himself who never married.
I am writing this because I get into many conversations about priestly celibacy.  Most of them carry the question:  "When will the Roman Catholic Church allowed married priests to minister openly as a matter of course rather than by exception?"  My answer is always the same, "Never."  It is not that there is anything immoral about a married man accepting Holy Orders.  It is the fact that the call to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic church carries with it the non-negotiable requirement of perpetual celibacy.  This is the sign on earth that there is a great reward that is worth living for in an extraordinary life style in a disciple's relationship with God.  The solid, non-negotiable call to a stable marriage and the living out of the grace of God to keep it that way is also a sign that there is a great reward awaiting those who do not seek to negotiate their way out of it.
There is also a great reward for those who, having tried and failed, remain focused on God in their new state.  They too are examples that the Kingdom of Heaven is worth dying for, even if the dying starts early and takes a while  to carry us to our eternal reward.
Then, finally, there are those who will dare to ask, "And, what about you?"
My answer is simple.  David had his sin. Peter had his sin.  They died dedicating their lives to God.
All I am doing is dying slowly, doing what I can to keep my focus on God.
So, after my slow martyrdom  I don't want anybody to feel bad at my funeral.  Keep your hankies dry.  Know that I died happy, even it is was on Mount Nebo rather than Jerusalem.