DON'T CRY AT MY FUNERAL BECAUSE YOU'LL KNOW THAT I DIED WITH GOD ON MY MIND, Part 2

In the interest of honesty and in the wake of a frank and sincere exchange between the original author of the message about which I wrote these comments, I, upon the advice of someone whom I deeply love respect, hereby expose the unexpurgated text of the sincere exchange.

Paul,

I may have been remiss in not expressing my views about what death (in this world) means to me but as you stated "that's your job".  I saw my job as keeping my siblings informed with the progress of the process Dave is going through.  I didn't realize that my news was being forwarded.  Had I known, I may have been a little more detailed in conveying my thoughts.  It most certainly was not my intention to be insensitive to the bigger picture.

When I used the word release I was referring to the pain and suffering he has been experiencing.  You may see it as a privilege but I find it difficult to share your view.  Each time he woke up he expressed his disappointment that he had not been allowed to leave.  Don't get me wrong.  He has accepted his lot with the greatest amount of grace and has been extremely compliant with what he has been asked to endure.  I couldn't be more impressed with the person he has been throughout his life and throughout this process.  I could go on and on about Dave but will just say that a finer person is hard to find.  I'm sure they are there but he's right there with them.

Call me weak and ungrateful, if you wish, but I I pray for a speedy exit from this world and into the arms of our Lord and the wonderful souls that have proceeded me.  Whenever, that may be will be great, if it's today or many years from now.  My uneducated view of the death of God's only begotten Son was to clearly show he had SUFFERED and died and was brought to life in all His glory.  I'm sure I won't be taken up in body as a sign for all to see so I don't believe there is a real NEED for me to suffer.  I will and will do my best to accept that lot if necessary but I certainly prefer not to.

I do view death as the ultimate REWARD.  You know that our family has always "celebrated" death and any tears shed were for ourselves or their loved ones loss and definitely not for the one that had been accepted into heaven.  I guess when I get the news that he has passed I will announce it as they announce the passing of the Pope.  "The Pope is dead, long live the Pope.", or just use the phone and call a few people that have been following his progress toward his Reward because I may not have the grace to express my deeper feelings through my selfish tears and the ache in my heart knowing I will not see him and have the pleasure of his company for a while.

I'm not unhappy with you for pointing out my lack of expression but sorry that I came across as not seeing the big picture and disappointing you with a representation of our family's point of view.  Please accept my apology.

With love and respect,

Your cousin, Al

The first reaction I had to these wonderfully expressed sentiments was to re-read them over and over again for a couple of days.  When I gathered myself back into one bundle, I wrote to the person who had forwarded me the original email and said, "Al is a saint!"

The answer came flying back, "Tell him yourself."  

By the time the "Tell him yourself" order rang the Gmail bell, I had already begun my response, which follows.

Al; Patty:

Know what?  I have read and re-read your touching expression and so it has taken me this long to thank you, sincerely for bringing the grace of your gentleness into my life at this moment.  It is a communion of heart and soul that happens only rarely and quite often in moments like this when we are all "dying a little bit and living a little bit' that we discover the depths of what pre-death suffering is all about.  It's almost as though we sense the sweetness of Eternal Life through the family pain.  Your letter drove me to those reflections.  

Everything you said about David is incontestably true.  What you said about David will be said about you, Howard, Daniel and Ronald.  The Matriarch, the Elder will surely come into her well earned praise as well, some day.

I confess that I pray every day that when it's my hour, that God makes it a minute, not an hour.  I pray every day to die like a true Dion...a lightning strike and gone...  But then, Iook at my Godmother, Grace and the power of her suffering; rare until my sister Jeanine suffered and now, David.  So what is dying like a true Dion?  It looks to me like we're seeing a great example of it before our very eyes...and every day we lay eyes and spirit on it, we too die a little and grow a little in the life that we have left.  That's God's way, looks like.

Al, I do not have the finesse and the grace that you boys have.  I know that I am more porcupine than otherwise, more cactus than rose.  I admire the tone of your communiqué.  I will never forget it and I will continue reading it because it contains the spirit of the Lord and it admonishes and invites at the same time.  I wish I had that grace.  I've never had it and I think even God wonders what to do with me about that.  So thank you, Allan.  Don't you dare apologize to me and, by the way, don't cry at my funeral.

Thanks for the Love and respect,

I'll try to live up to that challenge,

Peace to you all,

Paul

PS:  Totally off topic:  Jackie Dion died on August 20.  I found out today.  No further details.

DON'T CRY AT MY FUNERAL BECAUSE YOU'LL KNOW THAT I DIED WITH GOD ON MY MIND

"Here's the latest note I received about our wonderful cousin, David."  (An email) 

First my introductory comment:

David is a person who is loved and respected by us all.  He is a polite, loving, gentle,quiet and resolute individual.  He has a wonderful wife and two marvelous children.  David will never be forgotten, neither by his relatives nor by the hundreds of people that he must have influenced somehow in his life.  

Now, the text of the "latest note"

"As promised, I have e (sic) went down Friday and just arrived home this (Sunday) afternoon.  I said good bye for the last time and it was difficult to say the least.

"When we arrived, T... was there and had been for a few days helping

Veronica as much for support as for caring for Dave.  We relieved her 
for the night. Dave hadn't had any food (one spoonful) of pudding or drink

since last Monday and continues to have no nourishment.  He's on a morphine

drip which was increased a couple times while we were there to try to keep

him as comfortable as possible.  He's pretty much comatose 95% of the time,

coming around enough to know he realizes that he's being spoken to but try

as he might, he can't respond or, I think, focus on the person talking to

him or caring for him with the exception of once yesterday when he did

reach out enough to get Veronica and bring her in for a hug.

Continue your prayers for his release and strength for his family."

Upon reading this note, I was struck by the absence of the presence of God in the narrative.  I don't expect long meditations and reflections about life and death from people, not even those whom I know.  I know that expressing those Sentiments is "my job."  Still, I was shaken by the request for "...prayers for his release and strength for his family."

That's it?  Release from what?  From sharing pain and suffering with the One who suffered, died and resurrected for us?  I have not been praying for Dave's release.  I have been praying for him to remember us all in his moment of connection with the Suffering Christ.  Also praying for his proper preparation for the never ending celebration in the company of God and the Heavenly Hosts.  That's not a RElease, it is a REward and it is worth praying for.  I seem to be under the impression that Dave's life was more focused on the REward than on the RElease.

"...strength for his family."  Indeed, that has been my prayer and continues to be.  That strength comes from God above and it seems as though Dave has been liberally bathed in the fruits of that strength for a long time.  The strength that we are seeing now is the strength that took Dave and his beloved Veronica from the day that they stood before the altar to this point.  That is the strength that we are seeing.  That is the strength that is being harvested from the field of loyal matrimony and persevering, loving and generous parenthood.  The end of that is not RElease, it is the beginning of the REward, the celebration of True Life, the Life that we all prepare for while we walk in the Valley of Tears.  

Finally, we Catholics firmly believe that those who go first share the love and joy that they celebrate in the Eternal Presence of God, dancing around His Golden Throne, with us who stay behind for a while longer.  The pain and suffering that we shared with them while nursing them and caressing them lovingly through it all, is now turned to the joy of celestial happiness that they sprinkle upon us from on high.  Since they have come to be closer to the Father who created us and loves us enough to have us with Him for all Eternity, they have His permission to watch over us during the time that we have remaining before the Great Celebration of never ending Life.

This is what I have to say about what our family is experiencing at this time.  It is not a time for tears, it is a time to celebrate the glimpse of Eternity that God is giving us and to prepare for our own personal moment of "dying as we lived." As it says in the Gospel, "stay ready for you know not the day nor the hour."

So, that's my sermon.  I leave you with the constant reminder that no crying is allowed at my funeral.

REDEMPTION

REDEMPTION ҂ PAYMENT

REDEMPTION = REWARD

REDEMPTION = LIFE PROCESS

Consecration of Firstborn.

1

The LORD spoke to Moses and said:

2 Consecrate to me every firstborn; whatever opens the womb among the Israelites, whether of human being or beast, belongs to me.

3 Moses said to the people, “Remember this day on which you came out of Egypt, out of a house of slavery. For it was with a strong hand that the LORD brought you out from there. Nothing made with leaven may be eaten.

4 This day on which you are going out is in the month of Abib.

5 Therefore, when the LORD, your God, has brought you into the land of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Amorites, the Perrizites, the Girgashites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites, which he swore to your ancestors to give you, a land flowing with milk and honey, you will perform the following service in this month.

6 For seven days you will eat unleavened bread, and the seventh day will also be a festival to the LORD.

7 Unleavened bread may be eaten during the seven days, but nothing leavened and no leaven may be found in your possession in all your territory.

8 And on that day you will explain to your son, ‘This is because of what the LORD did for me when I came out of Egypt.’

9 It will be like a sign on your hand and a reminder on your forehead, so that the teaching of the LORD will be on your lips: with a strong hand the LORD brought you out of Egypt.

10 You will keep this statute at its appointed time from year to year.

11 “When the LORD, your God, has brought you into the land of the Canaanites, just as he swore to you and your ancestors, and gives it to you,

12 d you will dedicate to the LORD every newborn that opens the womb; and every firstborn male of your animals will belong to the LORD.

13 Every firstborn of a donkey you will ransom with a sheep. If you do not ransom it, you will break its neck. Every human firstborn of your sons you must ransom.

14 And when your son asks you later on, ‘What does this mean?’ you will tell him, ‘With a strong hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, out of a house of slavery.

15 When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, the LORD killed every firstborn in the land of Egypt, the firstborn of human being and beast alike. That is why I sacrifice to the LORD every male that opens the womb, and why I ransom every firstborn of my sons.’

16 It will be like a sign on your hand and a band on your forehead that with a strong hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt.”

                                                                Exodus, chapter 13

Redemption is not a one time payment that gets us off the hook because the Son of God died for us.  Redemption is a continual relationship with the Son of God who like Isaac and Moses was given a higher form of life that He shares with us at every moment of our existence.

Redemption does not come from the sacrificial act of dying for us.  No.  Even that is not a high enough price for us to be redeemed.  We are redeemed in the fulfillment of the law dictated to Moses that the first born human son had to be redeemed.  God would have violated his own law had He sacrificed His first born Son, once and for all.  How could we be redeemed by an act that would be a disobedience of the law by the very one who had promulgated it?

Abraham could not sacrifice Isaac for the good of the descendants of his father because Abraham did not have the authority to raise Isaac to a universal, life giving existence.

Moses had to live a human life for the salvation of the people so that they could all get their reward.  Moses did not just save the human lives of the people, but continues now, by the Grace of God, to serve as a spiritual sign for their well-being.  Sadly, they do not recognize the life that being redeemed gives.

It has a special meaning when we call Jesus the Lamb of God.  He is the One Human Being whom God Himself sacrificed as His first born, unblemished male offspring.  God did what he could, and the real mystery of redemption is that God the Father found to a way to sacrifice His First Born Son, redeem His human sons in the process and exult His Son and His people to a new level of life beyond the sacrifice. 

Yes, Jesus, human and divine, was sacrificed and redeemed by His Father and in the process they redeemed their people. 

This is not a difficult conclusion to reach for the human who is open to listening to the words of Jesus peppered all through the Gospel.  There are at least two ways to say that “Whoever saves his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will save it.”  (Matt. 6:25 | 10:39 | 16:25.

Mark 8:35 and Luke 9:22 – 27)  It is sure that in that mix there are some first born males to be found.  Also, for sure, some first born females are a part of that wondrous mix.  ALL of whom are told the same thing, that it is in and through the sacrifice of Jesus joined to ours that we are redeemed.  God the Father and God the Son have shown us the way to do it.  You heard me right, it is a WAY to do it, not a $1,000,000,000,000,000.00 ransom.  It is the WAY to the LIFE lived in the LIGHT of the TRUTH. (John 14, 6)

You see, our Redemption is the complete package of Sacrifice and Resurrection.  Our Redemption is a life consecrated and dedicated to God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.  Our Redemption is the grace of living life in an on-going relationship with The ONE who gave His life so that He might find a better one.  By doing this He taught us that His promise is true, “Lose it to Find it.”

This is not a single historical event that took place in a small country of the Middle East 2,000 years ago. This is the on-going, dynamic history of Salvation that has been going on now for thousands of years.  God, His Son and His Holy Spirit are outside of history.  We err when we use history to define God.  We err when we reduce the existence and the acts of Jesus to carpentry and ransom aimed at “Redeeming” us.  Redemption is much more than being sprung out on bail.  Redemption is participating in the sacrifice of the Lamb in obedience to the Father (The Holy Eucharist) in order to have the spiritual strength and enlightenment (Their Holy Spirit) to live a life of missionary zeal as their apostles in their company.

It is a rare moment when I write more than 1,000 words.  One of you got me going on this the other night.  I figured that if I write something long enough, I’ll have time to do something else while you all spend time reading this.

Before I call down God’s blessing of peace and joy on you all I insist on reminding you to not even think of crying at my funeral.

WELCOME THE STRANGER

• Matthew 25: 35   I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.

July 4 was the anniversary of the declaration of independence of the new nation that had created itself by revolting against the kingdom of England.  Many who fought and died as well as the many who fought and lived were not counted among those who had been the first to disembark and set foot on this new land.  In fact, most came because they had the desire to be in a place that seemed to have unlimited potential for economic and life style improvement.  For many of us the story we know and cling to begins with the immigration of the Pilgrims. These were Christians who were being persecuted for their beliefs in their home country of England. More than for religious freedom however, they were seeking more human freedom and greater opportunity for self improvement.

The fact that many of the original immigrants were Christians who had been persecuted did not prevent them from the cruel and genocidal acts that they visited upon the indigenous people whom they found here.  These newcomers felt perfectly comfortable ridding their new-found world of the "savages" who had been developing the land in their own way for thousands of years before the encroaching Europeans.  These parvenus Europeans had no conscientious objection to stealing, killing and dispossessing whole "pagan" families of their birthright.
As the great White Horde moved west, more and more indigenous people were wiped out.  Families were destroyed, land was expropriated by force, dwellings were burned and to assure that the living would not have to suffer destitution, they were killed too.  These Christians followed the sun clear into the line of its falling into the depths of the Great Blue Water.
As it turns out, the first days of July, 2014 are showing us that the dark savagery of the New American Soul is alive and well.  The new immigrants (even if they came on the Mayflower, they're still "new" compared to those that they are reviling) are still viciously subjugating anyone who gets in their way.  No matter that the newly independent country only accounts for less than one third of the surface of North America; no matter that the white European is no longer the sole driving force of the national culture any more (about 65% of the population).  White Europeans still are convinced that this is their land.

This is not their land.  This is no human's land.  This is God's land.  This is God's planet.  This is God's universe. I look around and I listen around and I hear all kinds of insults directed at peoples of other lands in other corners of the earth.  Every chance I get, I tell those who speak in hatred and disgust about other human beings in other countries, that in this country we are disgusting too. We, all of us, come from somewhere else.  I live in a part of San Diego, California where in about 3 square miles there are 35 distinct mother tongues spoken at home.  I myself was forbidden to speak English at home.  My forebears came to North America from western Europe early in the 17th century.  They did not come to escape religious persecution.  They came for endless and measureless free land and the opportunity that it gave to "city slickers" such as they.  They never thought it was their land.  In fact, they're all dead, but the land is still there and someone else is enjoying it.  What good does it do to anyone torture any other human being over land?

Notice that I have not made this writing very religious or spiritual.  I don't have to.  Those of you reading this know what God  told his people on numerous occasions about being kind to the stranger.  You all know that He numerous times told His people, "Remember, you were once slaves in Egypt..."  Finally, He told us all to go forth and baptize ALL nations in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I don't have to remind you of all of this.  I kept it for my closing line so that you can go to bed thinking about what you are going to do to help the poor and the broken find comfort and prosperity in this country.  Don't think about Ellis Island.  Think about God.  Think about the fact that to throw the stranger out with the garbage is a sin that cries out to God for vengeance.  Yes it does, and all you Catholics and various other "Christians" know it.  Now, be kind to the stranger, for you too were once a stranger on the very land that you now occupy.  I feel better now that I have scolded you because I know that it gives you good reason not to cry at my funeral
                                                                                  With my apologies to the people of the First Nation.
Wait until you see what  will write in the Krusty Kurrmujjin.

SUFFERING -- AN OPEN LETTER -- A CALL TO SACRIFICE

To my dear brothers and sisters, branches of the Great Dion/Bachand tree that God planted in Zenon Park and is now flowering in many corners of the world.
It is a moment of reality for all of us of our generation, the grandchildren of Eugene "Big Red" and Ora.
This is an open letter to you all, and I write it in full conciousness of my God given gift as the first born of our generation.  I hope that I don't offend you in the following paragraphs.  It is not my intention to offend anyone but to support, encourage, enlighten, comfort, accompany and stand quietly by in my own state of awe, respect and meditation at the plan of God as it unfolds before us along the path to eternal glory.

There are but few of us who have had the challenge to accompany a loved one through long periods of suffering through the deterioration of health.  The great majority of us have experienced the slap of sudden death snapping our hearts into a dark hole of emptiness.  Some of us even pray for that same manner of departure for ourselves.  I for one pray for that every day.  I, more than most of you, have accompanied many people to their grave.  I, more than most of you, have accompanied families and friends through the throes of watching loved ones spend what seemed to be endless time on the threshold between here and there.  I have talked, preached and written much about death and dying.  Very, very little of it to you.
Well, enjoy it, this is it. :-)

For those of you who don't know, I will tell you that I have lasted for 77.25 years so far.  That sounds like George Carlin, doesn't it.  Since this is the first time that I have been this old, I can't tell you if I feel my age or not.  I can tell you that I know very well how I felt at 35.  I also can tell you how I felt at 74.  At 35 I was still kicking ass no matter how tall the adversary was.  At 74 I spent 3 months in a wheel chair.  Which is good because then no one could kick my ass.  As it stands now, I can get kicked again but the only kicking I can do is with a sharp pencil.  So now you know.

At the present, I have been visiting people whom I know who are really sick.  I also got the news about David Dion, son of Alcide and Betty and the oldest brother of Deanna, who happens to be the first born of Al and Betty. David is one sweet guy and there he is, not really old according to 21st century standards, but really sick.  Veronica his wife has been sick and seems to be a little better now.  Then, down goes ol' David.  So that got me to thinking about us Dions and the way we get to the Pearly Gates.  I didn't look it up, but here's what I found off the top of my head:
Long sufferers:
Grace Dion married to DeGray
Jeanine Dion, my sister
Ora Dion, old age
Edward Dion, Alzheimer's, younger brother to Grace
Don Dion, the "Baby of the family"
"Hadjr" DeGray, still here, but suffering

Quick exits:
Cecile Dion, complications after childbirth
Ray Dion, here today and gone today
Norma Dion, ditto
Al Dion, ditto
Elna DeGray, Murphy, Grace's daughter, here today and gone today
Melina Dion, my mother, ditto
Harley DeGray, ditto, Elna's father

Unknown:
Normand Dion

Either way, someone suffers and so I just had to see what I had written about suffering in comparison with what I had written about death.
What I came up with was this, mainly:
http://nocryingatmyfuneral.blogspot.com/2012/02/value-of-suffering.html

I looked for that after I had written this to my sister Emélie (I always put the accent when I'm serious).  Now, I write it to you.

"Thank you for the update.  I appreciate the news.  We continue to accompany him (David) and the family in our prayers.  I pray that as a family we can hear the voice of God with hearts of loving unity during moments that can carry a lot of contradiction.

"Suffering is not just physical.  At times like this it becomes clear to us that suffering is also an emotional community reality.  It is at times like this when we either appreciate the truth that the suffering of Jesus, the Innocent one, is shared in the suffering of His human family, saints or sinners.  When His suffering visits us that is the moment when we know that He meant it when He told us to pick up our cross and follow Him.  (Matthew, 16;24) It is in moments of great suffering that we know that suffering is not a punishment for our weaknesses.  It is an honor given to those whom God judges to have the courage to share in the Sacrifice of Jesus.  It is a glorification of our faith that God uses to pair us with His only Son so that His suffering, lived by us, is our part in the Divine Sacrifice that He offered for the salvation of all.  After all, the suffering is not ours to own.  Like everything else, it is His.  It is  given to us to share for the eternal good of His people, in whom we are all included.  I pray that we all have the Grace to walk to Calvary, heads and hearts held high filled with the courage to be able to say to those who weep, "Do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children." (Luke 23;28)

My personal prayer is that each and every one of us, God's children all, can accept our responsibility in the act of eternal salvation, not only our own but that of all God's family, from the closest to Him to the farthest from Him.  At no time during our lives are we so involved in the work of God as when He calls upon us to suffer as His Son did, not for ourselves, but for the Communion of Saints.

I offer one final thought.  Some of the sharpest, crushing, stretching, grinding and wringing suffering that we may be called upon to share with God will come at a time when we know, or think, that we are still far from death's door.  When I thought I was going to die, suffering was assuaged by the thought that the end wasn't that far away.  It was then that I thought of my sister Jeanine and my God-mother Grace who suffered for years.  I thought of my father's chronic pain and the fact that he knew that it was not a life-threatening condition.  I thought of many widows I have known who had to face life with young children and had no gainful source of income.  

I presently think of people I know who have psychoses and/or neuroses to live with.  In their calm and lucid moments, these souls have plenty of suffering, wondering if they will ever get to be "normal."  I think of the mothers who kept offspring that came to them as a result of a violent act against them; I think of the families who have semi-formed children as a result of taking Thalidomide and I often think about a couple of very special families who are well known to and admired by me and the lives that lead.  

Yes, you all, suffering is not easy, but it is also not intolerable to those who know where it comes from and where it leads.  We all have our sheltering olive tree in the Garden of Gethsemane.  We can hug that special tree and talk to God from there and thank Him for trusting us with the hardest of His missions - that of the Suffering Servant.

Yes, I pray that we all have the grace to live this calling with noble, faith driven courage.  

Me, 

From my High Horse ...

Used to be a pulpit ... 

I had to run the course

When the pain really hit.

I learned a lot then

From the Book of Life.

I thought that I knew 

Enough to get by.

I was shaken and taught

that my "enough" was aught

and that all I had to get by

was call to God to come nigh

since on my own

I was wracked to the bone

from inside and out

from the left to the right

I had nothing but gout

and no strength to fight.

It was then that I grew

Into the insight of WHY.

In me then was the Passion of Christ.

He and I had a long talk.

I learned then how light is my cross

Since the road that I walk

With Him as we talk,

Doesn't point to a loss.

And please, at my funeral there is no crying allowed!